14
Year Old Girls
Strategy Guide
14
Year Old Girls
Strategy Guide
14 Year Old Girls are back with their latest album compiling all that is good in electronica and gaming. Strategy Guide carries with it a different sound than their previous release, Zombies In Robots Out, but still sticks to being electronically jazzed punk rock. 14 Year Old Girls continue to define the very thin line between normal punk and digitized video game music. Not to say that I don't like digitized music (we all loved 8 Bit Weapon at CGE years ago and the stuff 8BitPeoples comes out with is great) but that's really not what they're going for - like I said before, throw a couple NES games, the video game industry how most 20-somethings remember it, a few guitars, drums, and a keyboard into a dryer and then toss awesome vocals over the top and you'd have 14 Year Old Girls. (although I wouldn't recommend attempting such and ClassicPlastic.net will not be held responsible for any damages of property or person) Here's the track breakdown...
Stage 1: THUG
The first track is basically about the
mass commercialism that has bled into extreme sports, especially skateboarding.
Personally this is the biggest problem I had with Tony Hawk's Underground
- it really just showcased what tools pro skaters have become. The
song itself is standard punk fare but holds together very well, a nice
introduction track for the album.
Stage 2: Wario Ware
If you've ever played Wario Ware then
you'll instantly understand this song. It's a frantic fast paced
(again, speed punk) song that perfectly mirrors the gameplay mechanic of
Wario Ware, Inc. Some of the mini games are described in the lyrics,
again showing how frantic the gameplay is. The differences in the
tempo / tone of the song are dead on with how the game works - almost like
you feel like you're playing the game when listening to the song.
Stage 3: Q-Tip Bliss
Just as with Renegade on their previous
album, a song about Q*bert is long overdue and here it is. (at least
that's what I got from it) There's a much heavier digitized music
sound here, heavy on the keyboards with great vocals and a solid beat.
It's almost like someone performing over original Apple // music, a sound
unlike anything else.
Stage 4: Dynamite Car Plane
80's hair metal, at least the better part
of it is what this song reminds me of. It's big guitar riffs, high
pitched vocals and a rocking drum beat that yet again takes the sound of
the previous album in a totally different direction - and as with everything
else on the album, it works. If you're wondering what the video game
connection is, it's an indie
devver game.
Stage 5: Jet Set
A quick punk theme about the Jet Set Radio
/ Jet Grind Radio games. As with many other songs both here and on
Zombies In Robots Out there is clever use of game terms such as certain
playable characters and one of the rival skate gangs.
Stage 6: Release Date
Waiting for games sucks, especially when
there's a unnecessarily long localization process. (ehem.. Lunar Silver
Star Story Complete) Release Date is almost a punk love ballad sung
to a game pending localized release. It's all touched on here - having
to look at low resolution screen captures, hearing about the game being
out overseas, and the excitement as the release gets closer. It's
a little bubblegummy but it works fine here. ......now if Sega Classics
Collection would actually have a nailed down release date...
Stage 7: Ballad Of Rockman
An overview of the Megaman / Rockman franchise
- until Capcom went and screwed it up after Megaman 8. This song
actually sounds like it was ripped out of the earlier Megaman games, kinda
like Castlevania Punk from the previous album, which is always cool.
But no mention of Protoman? What gives? Really though this
is my favorite song on the CD.
Stage 8: Yoshi Egg Breakfast
Solid electronica, plain and simple.
I swear, it's time for Classic Gaming Expo to extend an invitation to 14
Year Old Girls to perform live, especially considering how much larger
the show became now that they moved it to Silicon Valley (where it belongs)
last year.
Stage 9: Loading Time
Everyone has sung this song at one time
or another, if they've realized it or not. A quick rundown of some
of the worst load time offenders capped off at both ends with "why must
you take so long to load." Yeah, Final Fantasy Anthology is one of
the games mentioned - Final Fantasy Chronicles was craptastic in the loading
department too, poor programming. There's no way menu loading in
Chrono Trigger required the game to interrogate the disc for fifteen seconds.
Back to the song, for some reason the rhythm reminds me of one of the small
music clips from the NES Nightmare on Elm Street game, when you would collect
a boombox to awaken from the nightmare.
Stage 10: Pacman's In Paris
The follow up to Pacman's In Egypt from
Zombies In Robots Out, about Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man dating and getting
married in Paris. (Speaking of Ms. Pac-Man, go read my review of
the Tengen NES port in issue #9 of Retrogaming Times Monthly) I like
this better than Pacman's In Egypt (although that was a good song as well)
but that's just personal preference.
Stage 11: Sockful of Tokens
Ahh, memories of a culture I miss - the
arcade culture. That's pretty much the song front to back, if you
weren't around to experience arcades before their massive decline after
the Street Fighter craze then you probably won't understand - mini revival
in progress or not. So I propose the question, just how much have
you spent in an arcade during one visit? Personally, $120 - during
a locally sponsored Sega Arcade Generations competition a few years back,
right around when Super GT / S.C.U.D. Race became really popular.
Stage 12: Lost In The Labyrinth
I have to think back many years before
the time I had all the underworld levels of The Legend of Zelda memorized
but back then this song would have fit perfectly. You know, like
when you went to Level 5 for the first time and didn't know what the hell
to do when you entered the first room that went dark. It could just
be me but I hear a faintness of the beat from the underworld music being
performed lightly in the background of this song. Anyway, the sense
of not knowing what to do next when in the underworld stages is perfectly
portrayed here.
Stage 13: Kage Not Cage
Legend of Kage was a semi-popular NES
game during the early days of the platform but to this day it is still
one of the most incorrectly pronounced titles of all time. That's
what the song is about. I'll admit, the only pronunciation in gaming
that makes me cringe is when people don't pronounce Ys right - especially
when it comes from people that supposedly love the games in the Ys series.
...Ys VI is on the way for PS2 and PSP - practice and get it right this
time. Gradius is that way too, although there are three pronunciations
of that (GRADius, Graawdius, Grade-ius) - the first one is correct, although
I most commonly use the second and most people seem to use the third.
Stage 14: Whoa Nintendo
Sad but true, Nintendo isn't what it once
was. (Personally those glory days ended back in 1992) This
is a rock anthem about the downfall of Nintendo, citing the abysmal Super
Mario Sunshine as a prime example. That's right, it did suck.
Why did it suck? That's simple, Super Mario Sunshine was nothing
but a development release of the engine that would later run The Legend
of Zelda The Windwaker. The buggy swing around at the worst possible
moment camera in Sunshine? Notice such was fixed in Windwaker with
more dynamic movement and it stayed put once adjusted. Contrary to
what the rest of the industry may say, the Super Mario series is NOT Miyamoto's
opus to the world of gaming - that'd be the Zelda series. Also the
DS... come on, that's what everyone wants - miniaturization of five year
old technology and ten year old games as release titles! It's called
an analog thumbstick - adapt it! Even a hybrid stick like the NeoGeo
Pocket Color! Gunpei Yokoi must be rolling in his grave. Although
keep an eye on Nintendo over the next three years, things are going to
change, for the better.
Stage 15: Ever Ever Lovequest
I hate MMORPGs - every time you play a
MMORPG like Everquest you kill the arcade industry just a little more.
No, I'm not bitter at them since my idea for a MMOS (you figure it out)
was shot down. This is like a drifty rock song about Everquest, a
game I hate, a song that's okay.
Stage 16: Swamp Zombies
This is a short eight second little riff,
nothing more to say really. =]
Stage 17: Sail Out
A semi smear at The Legend of Zelda the
Windwaker, a game that divided the gaming community from the start. Go
read my review to see my views on the title. The song is kinda
loopy, almost with a 60's / 80's mash. The core of the game itself
was simple, if you want to complete everything there's about 18 or so hours
of gameplay, a straight through play can be accomplished far quicker. Then
again I think Ocarina of Time was full of points of bad game design.
An endless debate, but a really good song.
Stage 18: Fatality
For some reason to me this sounds like
something Romeo Void would have done before they fell apart. The
content of the song is of course about things from Mortal Kombat and has
a jazzy rock sound with just a small touch of electronica.
Stage 19: Monkey Ball
One of the games that made the GameCube
launch, track 19 is about the game Super Monkey Ball as told from the perspective
of one of the monkeys in the game, probably AiAi.
Stage 20: Ikaruga
Since impossibly difficult shooters that
require god-like reflexes to play are one of my favorite genres, a song
about one of them is a welcome addition. Ikaruga was one such shooter,
released in the US on the GameCube (although the industry seemed to forget
it came out in Japan on the Dreamcast a long time before) that had an interesting
game mechanic where the player could change their color. If you're
the same color as enemy fire you can absorb it, different color then you
die. What was cool was you could change your color, so the game becomes
a high speed reaction and reflex exercise as well as an impossibly difficult
shooter that requires god-like reflexes to play. Not as difficult
as the later stages of Gate of Thunder, Lords of Thunder, Thunder Force
V, Blazing Star, or the impossible to complete Pulstar but it was pretty
high up there.
Stage 21: FF 9
Another game that gets no respect and
the same goes for its portrayal in the song. Don't get me wrong,
I like the song, because I agree with most of it and the sound is good.
However Final Fantasy IX was my favorite of the series, a series I think
is still terribly overhyped. FFIX was difficult, that's why I enjoyed
it. Yeah, the story was shaky but I liked the characters on their
own. It's still nowhere as difficult as the original Grandia (my
favorite RPG) or Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete (where the game will kill
you during the first battle if you get careless). On the other side
of the coin Final Fantasy III (FFVI in Japan) is often cited as the best
game in the series...... HELLO? The game's story ends halfway through,
then you are expected to continue and explore and figure out what to do
based on the mechanics of the game alone. It just doesn't work.
Yes, the audio is excellent, but excellent audio does not a good game make.
Chrono Trigger has openness like that, but it effects the world and there's
some actual gratification for completing the tasks and they aren't crucial
to the storyline. Anyway like I said, the song is good but I enjoyed
the game.
Stage 22: Pong
Damnit I love this song! Who would
have guessed the basic play mechanic of the most basic of basic video games
would make for such a good speed punk song? Well it does and this
is the proof. It has the same type shout out chorus as Big Grab did
on Zombies In Robots Out and yet again is just good music.
Stage 23: Game Trafficking
A cool stylized punk song about the import
scene, which at its core is illegal. Listening to this just made
me laugh since in high school I was one of the few people I knew of that
was installing PlayStation mod chips and bringing over Japanese releases.
(Vib-Ribbon was what I sold the most of in case anyone is wondering, would
have been Incredible Crisis but that finally came out stateside) Ahh, I
miss the days of the swap trick with the first model PlayStations, using
a thumbtack to hold down the door close pinswitch... bootlegs ahoy!
Stage 24: Glass
Yet another game that is long overdue
for a song about it since it was part of a lot of firsts for the industry.
The game, of course, is Marble Madness. The song is synth heavy and
somewhat dreamy but maintains a punk edge and tells the mechanics of Marble
Madness from the viewpoint of the player marble.
Stage 25: Beach Party
Similar to Veggie Sandwiches are the Best
Sandwiches Ever from Zombies In Robots Out this song isn't specific to
a single game. If you took the characters from some of the most well
known franchises and best games from the industry and they all had a beach
party, this is how it would go. It has a refined garage rock sound
with the synth and drum tracks that tie this music back to video games
just that bit more. Great music and great lyrics.
Bonus Stage 26: Super Tomb Raider
UK Punk
This is a remix of the song from Zombies
In Robots Out that got people to buy the previous album (at least among
the people I know). The lyrics are a little different but the song
has the same message, Tomb Raider sucks. Where as last time it was
more of a slow anti-love ballad, this time around it's high speed punk.
Then 14 Year Old Girls go and top the original with the line "Tony Blair
- piss off."
Final Verdict: If you liked Zombies In Robots Out then you're going to love Strategy Guide. It's the natural progression of a sound and genre that only seems to be getting better. There's not a whole lot to say since the music really speaks for itself. It sounds completely different from the previous album yet you know it's 14 Year Old Girls the moment a song begins. I only hope the albums keep coming and the quality of the music continues to get better as it has thus far. Is it 100 times better than Zombies In Robots Out? Naaa, it's about 10 times better but that's only because Zombies In Robots Out was so good. Lastly, the lyrics in the liner notes being presented on what resembles a giant Qix play field was an awesome idea.
For more information check out http://www.14yearoldgirls.net/
or their label at http://www.retarddisco.com.
Written on 02-04-05 by David, insanedavid@classicplastic.net
Last amended 11-18-07 by David, insanedavid@classicplastic.net